Teaching the One You Love Teaches You Things

The first week we were able to teach our own clients, my husband asked me to train him. I said, “Sure!” It would be a good way for me to practice the beginner system on a real beginner. I knew he had some body issues: back surgery, tight hamstrings, a body built for comfort, not speed. I prepared my cues and modifications…I was all set. Or so I thought.

We started on the Reformer. Footwork was fine until I said, “Now let’s do 5 for flow.” The carriage stopped and he looked at me like I had just sprouted a second head. “I have no idea what that means,” he said. I explained and we moved on, until we got to the next exercise that was so second nature to me, but so foreign to him. Not understanding my verbal cues was one challenge but that combined with with his physical limitations, made the session a true test of endurance for both of us.

Tree on the Reformer has enough “branches” to teaching it as it is and even more when trying to execute its many parts. My husband didn’t understand from my cues what he was supposed to do and then when I got him to wrap his head around the “how,” his hamstrings and back wouldn’t let him do the exercise. As the session went on, we both got more and more frustrated. I couldn’t seem to communicate effectively and he felt like he wasn’t getting it. After crying over what a crummy teacher I was going to be, and his husbandly comforts of kissing my head and telling me I’d eventually be great, we sat down and tried to identify what went wrong.

First, he said that the breathing was the opposite of what he had ever done in the gym. Then I remembered the first session I had, where I wound up holding my breath half the time because I was so off on the breathing cues. Second, he said that he doesn’t learn by listening to people describe an action, he needs to see the action done. Again, I thought of all of the sessions I had observed before taking this course and realized that I had seen people doing the action and I know it helped my understanding of the system.

Through our struggle together I realized how I need to craft my words in such a way that people understand the nature of the action through the cue. This made me realize that perhaps different people need different cues! Then he said that perhaps he was too much of a beginner for the reformer and that maybe he should try something else. I told him that the reformer was EXACTLY what he needed to strengthen his abs and get length in his spine. But above all else, what he REALLY needed was for me to craft a session with cues that work specifically for him. He said, “Well then get to it woman!” I think now we are both looking forward to our next session together.

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